tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27751888484471071112024-02-20T19:29:45.803-06:00Tales of Tanya~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.comBlogger170125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-37773759521087802172016-08-25T05:45:00.000-05:002017-03-21T14:37:55.464-05:00Ahhhh, vacation. <br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">You guys - it happened!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We went on vacation. I can't tell you how many miles we logged, but in 9 days, we visited Iowa, Minnesota, South Dakota, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It wasn't nearly as restful as I had imagined in my head, but overall, everyone had fun and we got to see some incredible stuff. I was tired and in recovery mode. Our RV rental had mechanical problems. Our 2 year old did not seem to understand how cool it was to be traveling in this manner. BUT, good times were had and good memories were made!</span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-18083003172384637422016-06-27T15:07:00.000-05:002016-06-27T21:55:36.224-05:00The current normal<span style="font-family: inherit;">You know 40... you kinda suck. I was doing just fine at 39...</span><br><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span><br><span style="font-family: inherit;">So surgery #2 happened last week and went well. **Interesting side note: according to billing and insurance, I had an organ transplant during surgery! Sometimes your parathyroids grow into your thyroid, which mine had. When removing my thyroid, 2 of my parathyroids came out with it. The doc reinserted and attached them and it was all coded as an organ transplant. </span><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">I also found out I now have valvey veins, which apparently isn't all that </span>copacetic<span style="font-family: inherit;"> with IVs. One successful IV was started around 1:15pm and decided it was done around 2:00am - 3 attempts and 2 nurses later... success at 3:00am! </span><br><br><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aVV4JTj5OJI/V3GAK0ofdTI/AAAAAAAABWQ/fgNnHdsrW-EMQN3hdSWCn2MvF4dyozYkACK4B/s1600/IMG_6398.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aVV4JTj5OJI/V3GAK0ofdTI/AAAAAAAABWQ/fgNnHdsrW-EMQN3hdSWCn2MvF4dyozYkACK4B/s320/IMG_6398.JPG" width="240"></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QhWZaKstr8g/V3GAdn3q4EI/AAAAAAAABWY/Y3j563YRMS0q0O78cC7j9wpZ5vjsg4FSgCK4B/s1600/IMG_6395.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QhWZaKstr8g/V3GAdn3q4EI/AAAAAAAABWY/Y3j563YRMS0q0O78cC7j9wpZ5vjsg4FSgCK4B/s320/IMG_6395.JPG" width="320"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So far, surgery recovery has been the easy part. Pain is minimal and while I've still got some swelling, I'm healing well. However, I feel like I have the flu... all the time! Foggy brain, motion sickness and waves of nausea, trouble with my vision, and tired, oh-so-tired. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QiVBV4DL63Q/V3GEXqiiwUI/AAAAAAAABWs/17PUKpEBPa8buQ9dJ8BiPMG__AnTia49wCLcB/s1600/IMG_6408.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QiVBV4DL63Q/V3GEXqiiwUI/AAAAAAAABWs/17PUKpEBPa8buQ9dJ8BiPMG__AnTia49wCLcB/s320/IMG_6408.JPG" width="320"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So normal right now is yuck. Like, for real, yuck. I know it's all healing from 2 surgeries in 12 days and medication regulation and stuff, so it's not the new normal, but it is the current normal and I'm already over it ;-) </div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thank you for all of the amazing prayer support and meal preparation that has been gifted to us - we are truly blessed!</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Next up: follow up with surgeon on Wednesday for official release for vacation (I'm convinced it's gonna happen folks!). A restful, relaxing vacation, then start the next phase of treatment... </div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">God is good.</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Life is good.</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am good. </div></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">but cancer sucks.</div>~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-31233866129964355292016-06-18T16:14:00.001-05:002016-06-27T15:07:08.384-05:00Moving forward, but a slight direction change...<div>
We're still moving forward, but the direction has changed a bit. I had my surgical follow up on Tuesday and it went well. My incision is healing nicely and I feel pretty good. Pathology was backed up at the hospital, so the results from my other biopsies weren't in yet. </div>
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When I called on Thursday to check again, the nurse told me that my results were in and the surgeon would call me back. At that point I knew there was a problem - this is exactly what happened last time. "The doctor would like to speak with you about your results." Fast forward 6 hours and I finally got the call.</div>
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I took the conservative approach and had only the tumor and surrounding tissue removed, but cancer is not conservative. It decided it wanted to spread it's wings into the rest of my thyroid and surrounding tissues. So, I'll be heading back in on Tuesday for another, more invasive surgery to remove everything else that is showing cancerous cells. </div>
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But this will be it. I am confident. I am resting on an already answered prayer - one for clarity in decisions for treatment moving forward. Can't get more clear than where I am now. My options are few and the plan is pretty set now. Surgery. Radioactive iodine treatment. Replacement thyroid hormone. Becoming life long friends with an endocrinologist!</div>
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If you want to pray or send good vibes, I have 2 primary requests:</div>
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<li>For my family - There are 7 more people who are being drastically impacted by cancer and the change in my abilities/role over the past couple of weeks.</li>
<li>For vacation - I know it sounds petty, but we have a long awaited dream vacation for the kids planned and we are supposed to be leaving on June 30th for 10 days. I would love nothing more than to be able to go on this trip.</li>
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And with all of that said, I stand by what I said in my last post:</div>
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God is good.</div>
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Life is good.</div>
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I am good.</div>
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-89030662032763734162016-06-10T09:16:00.002-05:002016-06-27T15:06:52.950-05:00Moving forwardSurgery is done and the cancerous lump is gone! Everything went as planned (with the exception of my sudden panic when my anesthesiologist hobbled in, seemingly about 90 and hunchback.... but he did his job and did it well!).<br />
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I was able to keep part of my thyroid that was still healthy. With a low risk of recurrence and pretty clear margins, the surgeon was confident in leaving a portion there. This means no synthetic hormone replacement for now, which is awesome news! </div>
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Pathology could still tell a different story that wasn't visible to the surgeon's eye, but for now, I'll take it!</div>
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The worst part, day 1, was the awful turtleneck bandage! They used lidocaine at the incision and biopsy spots, so while I had a sore throat from the breathing tube, overall pain wasn't bad. Today, the numbness has worn off so the discomfort is a bit more, but manageable.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">The redness is my allergy to the bandage adhesive and the small dots are all places where additional biopsies where taken.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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Follow up on Tuesday for pathology, so until then, soft foods and rest! </div>
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God is good.</div>
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Life is good.</div>
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I am good.</div>
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-29022191950992560632016-06-03T13:41:00.000-05:002016-06-03T13:41:13.042-05:00Lump in my throatI'd love to tell you that I've got a lump in my throat because<br />
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<li>my oldest son is visiting colleges and starting his senior year</li>
<li>my oldest daughter is getting her license and taking the next step in independence that I foolishly imagined as a remote possibility 15 years ago</li>
<li>my youngest son just finished 6th grade, a year younger than all of his classmates, with straight A's</li>
<li>my 2+ years with my 3 littlest girls, who have a huge piece of my heart, may be coming to an end soon</li>
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Yep, all of these have recently been giving me pause, consideration, and a figurative, emotional lump in my throat.<br />
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But this time it's literal. I've really got a lump in my throat.<br />
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A few blood tests, sonograms, scopes, and biopsies later, it's been determined that little lump is thyroid cancer and the little bugger has to come out.<br />
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Surgery is scheduled next week. But remarkably, I'm not nervous (yet). I've got plenty to organize and take care of before then to keep me busy. Plus, I'm placing my bets on a God with enough control over this situation that surgery will take care of everything and I won't need any radiation.<br />
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But even having that confidence, I suppose any time you are suddenly personally attached to the word cancer, things change. I know it's all mental, but it feels strange to be going about my day, looking fine, feeling fine, yet knowing there's this thing in you that doesn't belong. This thing that is doing you harm. This perspective-changing thing that feels dirty, invasive. This thing that makes you have hard conversations with your kids. This thing that makes you tell your story over and over, while trying to stay positive and secure. <br />
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No pity party needed or necessary.<br />
No cheerleading required or requested.<br />
So many people have it so much worse and I'm good.<br />
Really.<br />
Life is good.<br />
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This lump in my throat is just a bump in the road. </div>
~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-92110963003065521892016-01-22T09:47:00.000-06:002016-01-22T09:47:19.367-06:00This stuff is hard.Yeah, this life stuff <i style="font-weight: bold;">is</i> hard. All of it.<br />
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I just read online that if parenting isn't hard, you probably aren't doing it right. If there's truth to that, I'm encouraged that I'm not screwing it up as bad as I thought! </div>
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My family, oh my poor family, you should pray for them because I'm not the easiest momma to live with, I'm sure. I try and try to be patient and loving and understanding and supportive and at all of their "stuff" but oy vey am I dropping the ball. Thank you, Lord, for grace new every day because I need it.</div>
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And, really it goes beyond parenting. Extended family. Health. Broken systems. Huge work initiatives. So, so much to balance and be involved in, yet stay humble and patient and kind. </div>
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It's been a long time since an update from me, so in a nutshell:</div>
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We're still fostering Ess and Enn - they've now been with us for 20+ months. On October 29, we took in their newborn sister K from the hospital. We don't know how long she'll be staying as the system is pushing hard for her to return home for a trial run to see if bio mom can parent. I'm torn. I'd love to see her be successful, but over the past almost 2 years, I feel really strongly that she cannot successfully parent 4 kids and that sending a 3 month old home as a "practice" child is not in the best interest of this family. </div>
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Ess is almost 4 and she's a little mommy to her sisters. She needs to be snuggled and held and reassured all of the time, but is polite and always thanking me for everything she has. The most painful punishment for her is to be sent to her room, away from the family. She's definitely the social butterfly and most routined of us all, asking every morning what type of day it's going to be ("stay home day?" "school today?" "visit day?" "church today?" "tumbling class today?"). If you've never seen the movie Frozen, just let her know... she'll quote the entire thing verbatim for you. </div>
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Enn is almost 2 and quickly revealing her stubbornness and need for control. Hello, terrible 2's! She's talking up a storm and makes us laugh as much as she makes us sigh! She's quite the dancer too, but our favorite thing to see her do is sing. She has this crazy style in which she only EVER says the final word of each verse of a song. She knows the whole thing but stands ever so quiet until the final word and belts that out. Hilarious. </div>
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Beebs is 11 and growing so fast. He's in 6th grade and made the Jr High basketball team, which is finishing up their season now, seeded first for regionals! He's gearing up for Scholastic Bowl and Chess club too. He is finally settling into a bit of a routine with Jr High and the challenges it brings. It's been a growing process for all of us in helping him get and use the tools he needs to be successful, but we're seeing strides every day. </div>
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Sis is 15 and practicing driving. She's successfully done another year of swim team and speech team at the high school. She had her first small part in a local theatre's production of Peter Pan and just got a part in the spring musical, Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, at the school. She's busy and loving it. </div>
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Wy Guy turned 17. We don't see him too much between school, band, and his job, but we're doing our best to stay connected to him! He's researching colleges which makes my heart hurt. I'm so not ready for this!</div>
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So many happenings and I'm so tired, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just need to reset my perspective sometimes and let go. <i>And </i>remember that this will soon all be gone and what will I do then? I guess, I'll be freed up to write more here...</div>
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-60509161336086642722015-07-21T14:39:00.004-05:002015-07-21T14:41:48.919-05:00These kids.<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Wow - these kids. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />
Wy Guy</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is 16 & heading into his Junior year </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is owning learning to drive a stick shift</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">working a real part time job</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">while he's not playing football for the first time in 8 years, he is still making music and joining the tennis team</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">gets his hands dirty and my freezer filled hunting, fishing and frog gigging</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">taller than his momma & still growing </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sis</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is 15 & heading into her Sophomore year</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">started driving</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">working her first summer job</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">swimming competitively (high school team & local swim club)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">speech team superstar</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">starring in her first community theatre role in a couple of months (local peeps - come see Peter Pan at <a href="http://www.eastlighttheatre.com/" target="_blank">Eastlight Theatre</a>!!!) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">not taller than her momma :-) </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Beebo </span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is 10 & heading into 6th grade </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">swimming competitively year round with local swim club</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">basketball stud (fingers crossed for making the Jr High team this year)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">joined the school band</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">can't get enough time in the kitchen - kid can cook!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">almost taller than his momma & definitely still growing</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Ess</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">turned 3 in March and starts preschool in August</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is quite the tumbling class superstar</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is learning to overcome her fear of the water & swim</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">loves being anywhere the rest of the kids are</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">growing like a weed, going from 18 months to 3-4T clothes in the past 14 months</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Enn</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">turned 1 in April and is small BUT fierce</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">started walking at 9 months</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is holding out on teeth... still only has 2 but eats everything</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">is a complete momma's girl, bordering on a momma's leech</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">sleeps through the night... FINALLY! Can I get a hallelujah!?!</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">My heart is full. </span></div>
~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-91041690781102311992015-02-17T13:10:00.000-06:002015-02-18T09:54:02.720-06:00Whew.<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I love kids. I'd have a ton if I could. I mean, like challenge the <a href="https://www.blogger.com/"><span id="goog_1478361663"></span>Duggars<span id="goog_1478361664"></span></a>, kind of ton. (Darn my pragmatist husband!) So, adding a couple of littles to the mix last spring was like a dream come true.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>9 months later... WHEW! I. Am. Tired.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I underestimated my ability to keep up with them all - a baby (we could stop there with 'nuff said), a 2 year old (again, need I go further?), 3 in at least one sport/extracurricular activity at all times (but often two!), none of them driving, additional doctors' appointments, meetings, court dates, a full time job, a husband constantly traveling for work over the last year, doing ANYTHING at all with this blog, and, oy, all those pets (although Chancho the snake has helped twice by lessening his need for care via escape). </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I've loved every minute of it, okay, <u>nearly</u> every minute. But the stress is still outweighed by the fullness it all brings to my heart, without a doubt. I am loving this season of my life. There will come a day when I need to make friends and get out of the house for myself, but not now. I'm okay with squeaking in one-on-one time with the kids while grocery shopping. I enjoy my "alone time" in the 5 minute drive from daycare to my office each morning. I hate being away from them. In fact, my heart aches and my stomach turns with each passing day that brings us closer to the next court date, knowing that our current family structure could change in a minute. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know that the girls may not stay. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know that was always the plan. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know we've done right by them. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know my 3 original kids are changed for the better. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know we all love these girls, fiercely, just as they deserve. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I know that whether they stay or they go, we will still love them. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>So, no matter what the future looks like, I've got an incredible family and that won't change, no matter where they all are. No matter what. </i></span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-13115319490971771642014-06-27T08:45:00.001-05:002015-02-18T09:54:19.299-06:00Family of 7<span style="font-size: large;">Do you know how hard it is to get seating anywhere when you have 7 people in your family? And how about babysitters - they're hard to find! We'd just gotten into the mode of "eh, you're old enough to stay home alone if we want a last minute date night." No more! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We have our first placement - 2 little girls. They've been with us for just over a month now and we are really loving having them (well, most of the time!). I think the dogs and chickens are feeling neglected and I keep overhearing Mr. S saying in a soothing, high pitched, baby voice "Babies are so gross!" to a spitting up, crying Little!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not a great sleeper, never have been. BUT, when your body wakes you up vs. a screaming newborn, it's a whole different ball game. I've been out of the colic-y, multiple feedings per night mode for about 9 years, and let's face it, I'm not as young as I used to be. My body sure does miss her sleep! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We're learning to adjust our life. When the Bigs have activities, we now drive separate so that one of us can leave when the Littles have had enough. We are hauling carseats and a double stroller again. Our living room has been overtaken by baby swings and Dora the Explorer tents. I'm on constant high alert for the nearest pacifier and burp rag!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">For the first time ever, I'm actually worried about the next business trip for Mr. S in a week. I don't know how I'll manage the Littles + the Bigs crazy summer schedule on my own!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But, we're getting baby smiles and snuggles in between screaming fits now. And, we're seeing a 2 year old learn nursery rhymes and colors, listening to her speak without swearing, and hearing her belly laugh when her "brothers" tickle her - it REALLY is all worth it, knowing that we're making a difference in their lives!</span><br />
~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-49852881187139397682014-04-04T12:12:00.004-05:002016-06-03T13:42:07.672-05:00progress<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Progress: 5 days in with <a href="http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/focus-t25-workout.do" target="_blank">T25</a> and 3.5 lbs down. Woo hoo! I am really surprised, since the last time I did this, it took me about 3 months to lose 8 lbs. My body must have been craving some activity! I have a goal weight, but if I don't get there, that's ok. I'd rather just feel good and have my clothes fit well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Oh, and on other progress fronts:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I registered my teen for Driver's Education. (sigh.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I chaperoned my other teen's first real date. (bigger sigh.)</span></span><br />
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</span></span></span>~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-3561684813177130222014-03-31T14:27:00.001-05:002015-02-18T09:54:54.542-06:00starting again<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I was working out very regularly to lose 10 pounds 2 years ago. I've been successful in keeping it off, but now 6 pounds crept on since Christmas and clothes aren't <i>quite</i> fitting. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Just eating smartly doesn't seem to be cutting it for me to maintain anymore. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So, since I was up at 3:35am again (and, yes, I realize that gives me enough time to do 60-90 minutes of working out, but I don't really have the <i>desire</i> to do that!) and falling back to sleep wasn't happening, I decided today was the day to start. <a href="http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/focus-t25-workout.do" target="_blank">T25</a>, Shaun T, and I met this morning. We got along for the first 15 minutes, but then I had to hang out solely with Tania for the last 10 minutes because I was sucking wind. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Motivated though, so I'll pick it up again tomorrow. Hopefully a little closer to 5am, though.</span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-69558125503619552062014-03-06T09:50:00.003-06:002015-07-21T14:42:51.876-05:00My Courageous Child<h3>
</h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My child has courage. She has told me about some of her experiences at school - no small feat, considering how humiliating it can be for kids to tell their parents about the goings on among their peers, but I'm sure I only know of the tip of the iceberg. Together, we have tried everything I can think of to manage the problem on our own. We've prayed. We've ignored. We've avoided. We've tried to use humor to deflect. We've encouraged journaling. We've talked. We've seen counselors. What else to do? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">We've now passed the point of "Is my child being overly sensitive?", "I am only getting one side of the story.", and "Jr. High is a tough age." I've seen it with my own eyes. Other parents have witnessed it. My child continues to report it happening. I'm officially stepping across the line and saying my child is being bullied. I've had enough. I will NOT be <i>that </i>parent, crying and saying "I didn't realize it was that bad."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />What does bullying look like? For our family, it looks like this: purposeful exclusion, name calling, cruel texts, "accidental" bumping and snickering in the halls, and now, threats of physical harm (yesterday's text: <i>"STFU. Someone's getting hurt - you.")</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i>Straight up threatening has taken this to a whole new height for me and, while my child has made known to her teachers some of the incidents, to my knowledge, the school has yet to formally step in and address it. Is it a lack of awareness? Is it a lack of concern? Is it a lack of knowledge on how to handle the situation? This cannot be handled as a "kids will be kids" mentality. It is not a tolerable, childhood rite of passage. When that happens, adults violate a child's trust and renounce their role as a responsible adult.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Gone are the days of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2l6RnWM2tU" target="_blank">Scut Farkus</a> jumping out from behind a fence and demanding you "Say Uncle!" Now bullies are often the average, solid students that rule the school below the radar of the teachers and administration. They use relational aggression to hurt and humiliate, and seemingly, are just as skilled at manipulating the adults around them.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />It's time for me to be my child's champion. I'm taking solid, purposeful, documented steps. I'm going to administration, and if need be, to the school board and to the authorities. I'm going to show her that she deserves better; she deserves to be heard; her self-worth is not dependent on what these other children think. I will not do nothing. I love her too much.</span></span><br />
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<br />~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-6788894908229769092014-01-20T08:29:00.001-06:002015-02-18T09:55:20.532-06:00Welcome 2014<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here we are at the beginning of a new year. Every year marks change and every year I grow - for this I am grateful. If I spend some time in retrospect of 2013, I am awed at the path my life continues to take and the blessings I've been given. In some ways, I am no where close to where I thought I'd be in life, yet in other ways, this is exactly where I'd always dreamed I'd be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am now the parent to 2, count 'em, 2 teenagers!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Wy Guy is 15 and starting to drive. He still loves football and is working hard on living up to his coaches request to gain weight. (My grocery bill's the proof!) He continues to mature and be a witty, charismatic kid who is fun to be around... for the most part!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sis is 13 and trying to find her own path, out from under her big brother's shadow. It can be a struggle, but she continues to shine with her determination and her LOVE for being DIFFERENT. Wear thigh-high socks for basketball, yes please. Geek out on classic Shakespeare and not One Direction, she's all that. Gotta love that girl's ability to blaze her own path.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Beebo lights up my life. That kid can make you laugh without even trying! He's smart and crazy imaginative. He's 9, but just an 1.5 inches shy of 5 feet and grows faster than any kid I've seen. He has found a love for basketball. Ever a momma's boy and I'm going to eat that up for as long as he lets me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mr. S & I hit the big 16 years in 2013. Hard to believe I met this man more than 22 years ago! To celebrate, we completed our foster parenting licensure. We've been prayerfully considering this for a year, done the classes, completed the paperwork, did our home study, and finally pulled the trigger. Our hearts just told us we've been given this big home and even bigger love and so we need to share it some more. The kids are totally on board. We re-arranged some bedrooms and now officially have an empty bedroom, decorated and just waiting. It's like being pregnant, only you have no idea of your due date or what you are expecting! A phone call could come at any minute... literally, any minute.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So, welcome 2014... let's see what you've got. You don't scare me... much. :-)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-13806710247872969122013-11-05T08:03:00.000-06:002016-06-03T13:43:18.188-05:00Sigh<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have spent so much time fighting with insurance lately. Boy, is it exhausting, frustrating, and </span>disappointing<span style="font-family: inherit;">! Don't get me wrong, we're definitely blessed to have insurance coverage. But when you pay your premiums and co-insurances without fail and then the insurance carrier finds a "loophole" and denies coverage, it's enough to drive you batty!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Since June 21, we've been through appeals with medical and dental insurance for the extraction of Beebs' impacted tooth. Here's the kicker... dental insurance will cover the procedure if:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">it's a wisdom tooth ~ same procedure, different tooth number</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">it's done in a hospital ~ our surgeon prefers to do it in a surgical suite because it's cheaper and now that we've been through appeals, they will not allow us to re-submit with hospital coding</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">it's done without anesthesia ~ the tooth is fully encased in the jaw and will require going through the bone to even get to the tooth and he's 9... no anesthesia, really?</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Medical insurance says it's a dental procedure so they've denied all 3 of our appeals, even though our policy clearly states that dental procedures are covered if they are the result of a congenital defect (which his IS). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We've gone around and around. We've gone back and forth. I've made countless phone calls. I've involved benefits managers and doctors. I've sent scads of documentation, including CT scans and notes from 4 different docs including his craniofacial doctor in Iowa. After EVERY phone call, I've been assured that if I just send "x" document with "x" code, it should be fine and EVERY time it's denied. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Now, after pushing back all of his treatment by 4 months during this maddening dance, we have exhausted all options and will be paying for it on our own. Months lost and we are exactly where we started. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sigh. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-77286955159484627752013-09-18T15:52:00.003-05:002016-06-27T15:12:29.857-05:00Wordless Wednesday<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Happy Birthday Beebo!</div>
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<br />~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-55257645436362523012013-08-14T15:15:00.003-05:002016-06-27T15:12:55.857-05:00If time passes between posts...<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It's not because I don't want to post, but I'm busy building cathedrals... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><br />It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’<br /><br />Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? <br /><br />Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’<br /><br />Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock? Where’s my phone?, What’s for dinner?’<br /><br />I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, and she’s gone!<br /><br />One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’<br /><br />In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. <br /><br />A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’ <br /><br />I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.<br />No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.<br /><br />I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. <br /><br />When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there…’ <br /><br />As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.<br /><br />—Anonymous</span></i></b>
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<br />~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-28233958962908822582013-07-12T10:57:00.004-05:002016-06-27T15:13:24.163-05:00The end of an adventure<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>Here's the final, week 8 comparison picture between our broiler birds and our newest laying hens.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Slaughtering took a lot more time than we anticipated (26 birds took about 6 hours), but we finally got a little assembly line system going. We estimate all of the birds gave us anywhere from 5.5-7.5 pounds each. We were even able to give the chicken feet a home (apparently they're a delicacy in China and a co-worker was ecstatic to take them all off our hands... evening preparing them and sending a few back for us to try!). </i><i>I'm slow cooking up the bones to make chicken stock. </i><i>The only parts we didn't use were the heads and the feathers, so I'm very happy with that. And, since we know exactly what they ate and how they were raised, I'm going out on a limb to say mine are better than organic+!</i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Before we parted most of them up and froze them.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">My poor refrigerator was bursting!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>This was a pretty cool experience, but was a LOT more work than I anticipated. I think specifically because Mr. was gone for a few weeks and cleaning, feeding, and watering multiple times per day fell solely to me. Will I do it again... hmmm... ask me after I've eaten a few of these and the memories of the poo and flies fades.</i></span></span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-2725964346238786202013-06-28T14:33:00.006-05:002016-06-03T13:43:40.502-05:00mmm... chicken.<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So, it's been 6 weeks since my graceful fall. I limped along for a few weeks and just this past week am finally NOT limping, bending my knee, and have actually gone up stairs without pain (coming down is still not quite perfect yet!). I did end up getting a CT scan done when the leg got to this point:</span></i><br />
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<i>It just showed severe soft tissue damage and the treatment was a brace and stay off of it (apparently I have a post in my foot that prevents me from having an MRI done... who knew?!?). Staying off of it... yeah, I'll get right on that. </i></span><br />
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<i>Meanwhile, my broilers came (along with 3 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plymouth_Rock_(chicken)" target="_blank">Plymouth Barred Rock</a> girls to add to my egg layers) and it is truly indescribable how fast they grow, how much they eat, and how much they stink! I have experience with chickens, but these are really franken-chickens... meant to be used solely for their meat. They aren't pumped full of nastiness or any chemicals, just selectively bred to grow big, really fast. And, they are going to be completely organic (because I pretty much know everything they are eating and drinking and doing all day long!), so that's an exciting thought. However, they aren't pretty. They don't have good personalities. They aren't anything like "my girls". It's pretty easy to not get attached to them. We've got 2 weeks left 'til d-day... </i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">2 weeks old. L: Barred Rock / R: Broiler</span></i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i>4 weeks old.</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">6 weeks old.</span></span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>Now, excuse me while I go find the perfect wing sauce recipe!</i></span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-26069624169139923592013-05-23T15:07:00.004-05:002016-06-03T13:43:56.603-05:00Graceful<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Believe it or not, I was a dancer. I took 11 years of dance lessons and was in competition Dance Troupe during high school. That does not, however, translate to grace apparently. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">In the midst of talking, tossing my son's athletic support to my husband (hey, he was chafing after 4 back to back tournament games in hot weather!), wearing flip flops, and walking up bleachers at a baseball game, I bit it. Not a "oh, whoops, that-was-embarrassing" kind of slip but an "all-of-my-weight-just-landed-on-my-knee-slammed-against-the-bleacher-and-my-leg-looks-and-feels-broken" kind of fall.
Yes, this is what my parent's investment in years of dance training landed me over the weekend:</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Day 1: kind of swollen and sore, but over not too bad</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Day 2: uh, oh - not sure my knee is supposed to be that size... and I think it should bend, right? </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Day 3: more swelling and the bruising begins... more pain and having trouble with range of motion</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">And, a lovely shade of purple on my thigh... I blame it on massive amounts of soft tissue located there :) </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Day 4: broke down and went to the doctor because of more discoloration/mottling, persistent pain & swelling (albiet better) and blood pooling in my foot/ankle</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So, of course the doctor wants an MRI of my <a href="http://orthopedics.about.com/cs/kneeinjuries/a/mclinjury.htm" target="_blank">MCL</a>. I asked her if I could have one more week to see if it gets any better and she begrudgingly obliged. I am holding out hope that it gets better! She put me on an aspirin regimen to keep the blood flowing and keep any clots from forming. In the meantime, I'll just be a little gimpy... but hey, at least the money they spent on braces worked out okay!</span></span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-44177058726688204012013-04-24T14:56:00.000-05:002016-06-03T13:44:12.118-05:00a new challenge... part 2<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Let me start "Part 2" by saying that as a follow up to my previous post, I really am in an okay place with this... it just generally sucks. I know that there are other families who go through oh-so-much more. They have far more devastating things with which to deal. So know that I am not complaining, but I am just sharing how I genuinely feel.
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<span style="font-size: large;">The basic growth pattern for a child's face is that the lower jaw grows down and forward, then the upper portion of the skull follows, down and forward. Since Beebo's lower jaw on the left is not growing adequately, the upper portion of his skull cannot grow adequately either (even though it has the ability to do so). So, basically, the entire left side of his face is staying the same size while the right side grows... hence, the more noticeable changes to the structure of his face over the last year or so. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Like I said before, it's hard to predict the future, but a basic plan of action for Beebo is this:</span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This summer, we will remove at least one impacted molar. His "6 year" molar on the lower left has not erupted, because it can't - it's trapped under his "12 year" molar. We need to sacrifice at a minimum the "12 year" molar to see if the "6 year" will come in. We may need to sacrifice both of them, but we won't know until the oral surgeon gets in there. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Once the molars are out of there, the mandible can fill in with bone and give us a more solid, stable place to affix any type of treatment. We'll wait 6 months for it to fill in completely with bone after the extraction.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">In March, we'll go back to Iowa and get a third Cone Beam CT Scan. This will give the doctor several scans over a 15 month period to assess how much growth is happening on the left side of the face. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Next summer (2014) at age 9, the plan is to do a <a href="https://www2.aofoundation.org/wps/portal/surgerypopup?contentUrl=/srg/95a/05-RedFix/HFM/P140-ConstrMandRamCond/04_Reconstruction.jsp&soloState=precomp&title=&Language=en&bone=CMF&segment=Congenital">rib graft surgery</a> to replace the deformed/missing portion of his condyle and mandible. They will remove either his 5th or 7th rib on the right side, shape it, and secure it onto the mandible. His jaw will be splinted and then wired shut for about 3 weeks. The hope is that the rib will continue to grow, allowing the upper face to grow as well, slowing down or, best case scenario, stopping the rate of deformity.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Braces will follow, somewhere around age 12. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">IF the graft does not grow significantly or enough, he will be facing another surgery around age 15 - <a href="http://www.njms.in/viewimage.asp?img=NatlJMaxillofacSurg_2011_2_2_120_94464_f5.jpg">a mandibular distraction</a>. His mandible will be separated into 2 pieces, then a distraction device will be secured to it and the split will be slowly increased over the course of a couple weeks. When it is in the right place, it will be secured and new bone will fill in the gap. This process takes about 3 months. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">IF, when he is finished growing around age 19, he is not happy with his appearance, he can opt for a final orthognathic surgery. This surgery would be pretty much cosmetic in nature and this will be his choice. </span></li>
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-29692964145634248292013-04-17T11:16:00.002-05:002016-06-03T13:44:30.853-05:00a new challenge... part 1<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This post has been in draft status for a while. I keep coming back to it but have never completed it to share. I don't know why - I was probably digesting. I know I was praying. But I'm also a reader; a study-er. I crave knowledge and I'm sure I was so intent on knowing as much as possible that it encompassed the situation. But now, we've seen 3 doctors since August, most recently yesterday, and people are asking, so I guess it's time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">You probably all know that my Beebo has always had the cutest little crooked smile. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Well, apparently that crooked smile was indicative of a bigger problem. After being sent from dentist to orthodontist to oral surgeon to a local craniofacial doc to a top craniofacial team out of state, we have a confirmed diagnosis of Hemifacial Microsomia. HFM is a birth defect that occurs during the first 6-8 weeks of pregnancy (interestingly enough, at the same time as inner ear structures form... coincidence for Beebo and Sis? Hostile uterus, party of 1.). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">With HFM, basically, 1/2 of the face, typically the lower face, is underdeveloped and does not grow normally. It often affects jaws, teeth, cheek tissue, orbital size, ears, and facial nerves. A commonly accepted range of severity regarding the mandible (jaw) is the Pruzansky classification. In this system, Beebo has been diagnosed as a IIB (moderate) severity. He has a full lower mandible, but it is very small and deformed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">What we know so far about Beebs' HFM:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">His lower left mandible is not fully developed and is not growing adequately or in proportion to the rest of his face</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">His left eye socket is smaller</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">His left upper mandible is misshapen</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Some adult teeth are unable to erupt because they are not in the right places and there is not enough bone to support them</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">He has less fatty tissue and bone structure in his left cheek</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">His left ear is folded</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">BUT, let's talk about the positives in this, because they are there! His left eye has perfect vision and his left ear is present (many kids are missing an ear) and hears just fine. He has no facial nerve involvement and thus no paralysis. He does not have any involvement of the soft tissue of the mouth, throat, or trachea that impairs his speech, swallowing, or breathing. These are all things that are common issues with his level of severity, so we are grateful. So very grateful!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As he continues to grow, his appearance will continue to change, as will the functionality of his jaw, his bite, possibly his speech. We have to medically intervene and that's where this momma begins to shudder. I'm trying to see the big picture. I'm trying to feel blessed in my life. I'm trying to cling to those positives listed up there. But, right now, I feel sick. I feel cheated. I feel sad and angry, then little bits of relief that it's not worse. Mostly, I feel like stomping my feet and shaking my fist and shouting "This is NOT fair! Haven't my kids been through enough? Why does <i>my</i> body fail these kids?"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been in the midst of these feelings before. They will leave and then out of the blue, they will try to come back. They aren't welcome here. They aren't my friends, but realistically I'll let them in to stay for a while before I kick them out. I know this cycle well.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'll update on the plan of action in my next post. It's difficult to have anything definitive yet, but we do have a straw man outline of the next few years. </span></span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-53040956057319782902013-04-03T11:10:00.002-05:002014-06-27T08:59:41.729-05:00Wordless Wednesday<span style="font-family: inherit;">The difference a year makes...</span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-45986873881688574642013-03-18T15:28:00.003-05:002016-06-03T13:44:42.947-05:00Recent Musings<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My dog eats cardboard. Really any type of cardboard, she's not picky and it just recently started. We thought it was a fluke but apparently, not so. It really doesn't matter to her what's <i>inside </i>the box, that's collateral damage! Gifts from Gramma A in Minnesota, a pair of Aero dress pants, a case of Diet Mt. Dew (ugh - gag anyway!), stored Christmas lights, pajamas from Vickie's Secret, a Coach purse - all's fair when you are craving fiber!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">WyGuy is going to high school. I'm a struggling momma and I'm certainly not old enough to have a high school student. This is much harder than those milestone birthdays. This is literally just a blink away from him becoming a man. Please, please, please reassure me that a grown man still needs his mom!!!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I love having chickens! In fact, 33 more of them are on their way to our house in a few weeks. 3 layers and 30 broilers. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It's almost garden time and I can't decide what I want to plant this year. My staples are eggplant, zucchini, tomatoes and spinach, but what should my wild card produce be this year? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I love my big car and I would love to fill it up with more cute little noggins... that's what all those open seats are for, right? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I hate painting. If I weren't such a fru-gal (like that? I just thought of it!), I would pay someone to do it. I LOVE the change a fresh color brings, but I hate that I felt like I had no weekend because I was elbow deep in Lyndhurst Timber, satin finish. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Less than 4 weeks until we head to the University of Iowa to see a craniofacial team for Beebs. Prayers are welcome. We'll likely have some decisions to make as we've already seen two local doctors and we have an idea of what's coming. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I don't drink enough. Never have. I can, and often do, go from my morning 2 cups of coffee until dinner without anything to drink. Today, I resolved to start forcing myself to drink. I've successfully ingested over 1/2 liter of water (hey, look here, that's almost 20 oz!!), however, I've been to the bathroom 4 times - ugh. Does that get better or am I doomed to pee every 15 minutes if I actually get to my goal of 1 liter in a day? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My blog title is stupid. </span></li>
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-86920757655265310072013-02-12T15:07:00.001-06:002016-06-03T13:44:55.500-05:00Here's to my life!<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here's to today! </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here's to waking up early and spending some time alone with my Bible. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here's to keeping my voice down and my spirits raised. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here's to acknowledging that there is more work to do in me, than in my house. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here's to realizing that cleaning up my heart is more important than cleaning the toilet or examining the faults of my family. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here is to holding my children more, and my tongue even more. </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>And here is to learning, every day</i>.</span><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2775188848447107111.post-44350255547751395472013-01-11T10:41:00.001-06:002016-06-03T13:45:12.577-05:00Decisions<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Changed. I am changed. So many things about the way I think, the perceptions I have, the actions I take were changed in <a href="http://www.talesoftanya.blogspot.com/2010/06/zambia.html">2010</a>. I'm grateful. I knew I would be. I wanted to be. Nearly 3 years later, that experience still weighs on my heart. Photos still sit on my desk. Reminders of my blessings and my change. </span></i><br />
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<i>For a couple of months that experience has taken a louder voice... it's no longer sitting quietly in the back of my mind as a daily reminder. It's at the forefront. It's on my mind when I wake. It's in my prayer time. It's appearing in pretty random places around me. So I ask you to pray earnestly with me that I would hear what He has to say, not what I desire. Pray for my family that He would speak as clearly to them. I want no decision within our life to be without Him in the center. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i>
<i>Today, the verse in my reading was Proverbs 24:11-12</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Rescue those who are being taken away to death;</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">you say, "Behold, we did not know this,"</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">and will he not repay man according to his work? </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Yikes! I can't say I haven't seen or heard, because I have. So I need to make sure I'm doing what He wants, humbly and gratefully, because I do know... and He knows. </span></i><br />
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~ Tanya ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11534189741785858458noreply@blogger.com0