Real Mothers

This is the most real and meaningful quote I have read in a LONG time. It's from a book I'm just finishing called House Rules by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors. I loved this book because, as someone who has worked with adults with developmental disabilities (and specifically Asperger Syndrome), she demonstrates well both internal and external perspectives. However, regardless of it's context, I think every mother can relate. SO, here's to you, my fellow real mothers!!

"When did they stop putting toys in cereal boxes? When I was little, I remember wandering the cereal aisle (which surely is as American a phenomenon as fireworks on the Fourth of July) and picking my breakfast food based on what the reward was: a Frisbee with the Trix rabbit's face emblazoned on the front. Holographic stickers with the Lucky Charms leprechaun. A mystery decoder wheel. I could suffer through raisin bran for a month if it meant I got a magic ring at the end.

I cannot admit this out loud. In the first place, we are expected to be supermoms these days, instead of admitting that we have flaws. It is tempting to believe that all mothers wake up feeling fresh every morning, never raise their voices, only cook with organic food, and are equally at ease with the CEO and the PTA.

Here's a secret: those mothers don't exist. Most of us - even if we'd never confess - are suffering through the raisin bran in the hopes of a glimpse of that magic ring.

I look very good on paper. I have a family, and I write a newspaper column. In real life, I have to pick superglue out of the carpet, rarely remember to defrost for dinner, and plan to have BECAUSE I SAID SO engraved on my tombstone.

Real mothers wonder why experts who write for Parents and Good Housekeeping-and, dare I say it, the Burlington Free Press - seem to have their acts together all the time when they themselves can barely keep their heads above the stormy seas of parenthood.

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's car, and say, "Great. Maybe YOU can do a better job."

Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

If parenting is the box of raisin bran, then real mothers know the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment that your child confides in you, or tells you he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error, and self-doubt.

Real mothers may not speak the heresy, but they sometimes secretly wish they'd chosen something for breakfast other than this endless cereal.

Real mothers worry that other mothers will find that magic ring, whereas they'll be looking and looking for ages.

Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one."

Wordless Wednesday

Summer Camp

Sis is away at summer camp. More specifically, she's away at The Lions Club of Illinois Camp Lions for Deaf/HOH kids... without air conditioning... with heat advisory temperatures... for an entire week... by herself. Ok, well technically she's not ALL by herself, but she's more alone than she has been in the past. Big bro has always gone to pave the way and be a defender when needed.

She's been to sleepover camp twice before (church camp) and it's been farther away than this camp, so why am I such a hot mess about her being gone this time?!? Why am I sleeping with my phone, just in case?

For some reason this camp is different.

What if she doesn't like this camp?

What if the other kids put her hand into warm water while she's sleeping or freeze her bra?

What if she drowns in the lake because the teenage counselors are too busy flirting with each other to properly watch their charges?

What if this whole camp is just a facade to indoctrinate her into some sort of Satanic cult?

What if a chainsaw wielding serial killer wearing a hockey mask infiltrates the camp and she doesn't know NOT to go investigate that strange noise in the dark, abandoned cabin?

What if she gets homesick?

What if she doesn't bathe or brush her teeth, AGAIN?

Every person in attendance at Camp Lions is either Deaf, HOH, or (like some of the counselors) Deaf Ed majors. Signing hands are flying everywhere. At registration, she was instantly overwhelmed at the amount of sign language being used and worried that she wouldn't be able to keep up. Maybe that initial response from her is what knocked me off of my she'll-be-fine-she's-done-this-before track.

All I know is I'm literally counting down the days until I can pick her up and am waiting with bated breath to hear her say that having your bra frozen is hilarious and that she can't wait to go back next year.

My own series of failures (title credit given to C.G. - thanks!)

I know it's been 2 weeks since I've posted, but let me give you a really valid excuse - no home computer! Our desktop seems to have mysteriously lost it's ability to connect to the internet (No LAN) and multiple service calls haven't helped. I just haven't had the time to get it in somewhere or get someone out to personally look at it. I have access through my laptop because the internet is working, as is the wireless router, but because we have satellite internet now, there are only a couple of "hotspots" in the house and who really wants to sit on the kitchen floor to be able to post?!? Not me, but I will sacrifice for the sake of my blog and faithful readers... so here you go...

In fact, come to think of it, lots of things have been breaking since my last post.
1) home computer - previously explained.

2) my favorite necklace - not that it matters to anyone but me, but it really was super cute.

3) my phone - stupid Droid2. You know I waited a few years to get a fancy smartphone because I knew it would change my perspective and dependence. It has. I truly love my technology so much, that when it doesn't work as planned, I feel gipped. Really Tanya? Reality check - this is not something you need, it's something you enjoy having - get over it if you don't have it 24/7!!

4) my string of 4 years without a paid vacation - this is a good break fo sho! I took two days off to just hang with the kiddos and two more days off to take Sis to the ASA Girls 10U Fastpitch Softball State Tournament in Decatur. Those Lil Lettes played hard and Sis had so much fun finishing out her 2nd season. She's already talking about next season and moving up to the 12U, as well as trying out for the Jr. High team at school.

5) my health - I have terrible head congestion going on 4 days now and it's settling in my chest. I'm pretty sure it's from a lot of in and out of a/c and 90+ degree heat for 4 days at the tournament and partially from having a hotel room with mold in the shower and water standing on the carpet, but nevertheless, I feel pretty much like crap.

6) my foot - now this isn't confirmed, but judging my the amount of pain and bruising, I'm pretty positive that when I jammed my recently fixed pinky toe into the door frame on Monday night and almost passed out, it broke. Hopefully the screws that were already there from surgery in March are still in the same places.