Friday, January 22, 2016

This stuff is hard.

Yeah, this life stuff is hard. All of it.

I just read online that if parenting isn't hard, you probably aren't doing it right. If there's truth to that, I'm encouraged that I'm not screwing it up as bad as I thought! 

My family, oh my poor family, you should pray for them because I'm not the easiest momma to live with, I'm sure. I try and try to be patient and loving and understanding and supportive and at all of their "stuff" but oy vey am I dropping the ball. Thank you, Lord, for grace new every day because I need it.

And, really it goes beyond parenting. Extended family. Health. Broken systems. Huge work initiatives. So, so much to balance and be involved in, yet stay humble and patient and kind. 


It's been a long time since an update from me, so in a nutshell:

We're still fostering Ess and Enn - they've now been with us for 20+ months. On October 29, we took in their newborn sister K from the hospital. We don't know how long she'll be staying as the system is pushing hard for her to return home for a trial run to see if bio mom can parent. I'm torn. I'd love to see her be successful, but over the past almost 2 years, I feel really strongly that she cannot successfully parent 4 kids and that sending a 3 month old home as a "practice" child is not in the best interest of this family. 

Ess is almost 4 and she's a little mommy to her sisters. She needs to be snuggled and held and reassured all of the time, but is polite and always thanking me for everything she has. The most painful punishment for her is to be sent to her room, away from the family. She's definitely the social butterfly and most routined of us all, asking every morning what type of day it's going to be ("stay home day?" "school today?" "visit day?" "church today?" "tumbling class today?"). If you've never seen the movie Frozen, just let her know... she'll quote the entire thing verbatim for you. 

Enn is almost 2 and quickly revealing her stubbornness and need for control. Hello, terrible 2's! She's talking up a storm and makes us laugh as much as she makes us sigh! She's quite the dancer too, but our favorite thing to see her do is sing. She has this crazy style in which she only EVER says the final word of each verse of a song. She knows the whole thing but stands ever so quiet until the final word and belts that out. Hilarious. 

Beebs is 11 and growing so fast. He's in 6th grade and made the Jr High basketball team, which is finishing up their season now, seeded first for regionals! He's gearing up for Scholastic Bowl and Chess club too. He is finally settling into a bit of a routine with Jr High and the challenges it brings. It's been a growing process for all of us in helping him get and use the tools he needs to be successful, but we're seeing strides every day. 

Sis is 15 and practicing driving. She's successfully done another year of swim team and speech team at the high school. She had her first small part in a local theatre's production of Peter Pan and just got a part in the spring musical, Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, at the school. She's busy and loving it. 

Wy Guy turned 17. We don't see him too much between school, band, and his job, but we're doing our best to stay connected to him! He's researching colleges which makes my heart hurt. I'm so not ready for this!


So many happenings and I'm so tired, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just need to reset my perspective sometimes and let go. And remember that this will soon all be gone and what will I do then? I guess, I'll be freed up to write more here...