Whew.

I love kids. I'd have a ton if I could. I mean, like challenge the Duggars, kind of ton. (Darn my pragmatist husband!) So, adding a couple of littles to the mix last spring was like a dream come true.

9 months later... WHEW! I. Am. Tired.

I underestimated my ability to keep up with them all - a baby (we could stop there with 'nuff said), a 2 year old (again, need I go further?), 3 in at least one sport/extracurricular activity at all times (but often two!), none of them driving, additional doctors' appointments, meetings, court dates, a full time job, a husband constantly traveling for work over the last year, doing ANYTHING at all with this blog, and, oy, all those pets (although Chancho the snake has helped twice by lessening his need for care via escape). 

I've loved every minute of it, okay, nearly every minute. But the stress is still outweighed by the fullness it all brings to my heart, without a doubt. I am loving this season of my life. There will come a day when I need to make friends and get out of the house for myself, but not now. I'm okay with squeaking in one-on-one time with the kids while grocery shopping. I enjoy my "alone time" in the 5 minute drive from daycare to my office each morning. I hate being away from them. In fact, my heart aches and my stomach turns with each passing day that brings us closer to the next court date, knowing that our current family structure could change in a minute. 

I know that the girls may not stay. 
I know that was always the plan. 
I know we've done right by them. 
I know my 3 original kids are changed for the better. 
I know we all love these girls, fiercely, just as they deserve. 
I know that whether they stay or they go, we will still love them. 

So, no matter what the future looks like, I've got an incredible family and that won't change, no matter where they all are. No matter what.