Searching

For several months, we've been searching for a new church. First, let's get out of the way that our decision to move on was not taken lightly or without pain. It's something we've prayed about and asked direction around for nearly a year. There are multiple reasons that we started to consider leaving, but only one reason we actually did - God told us it was time. Okay, moving on...

It sure is tough to find a new church to call home when you are coming from another that you were deeply connected to. I miss my relationships. This struggle to fill that hole from your last church hurts. A lot. And I'm sure you all know how I like routine. I like a plan - it gives me comfort. I like to be involved - I'm not a sidelines kind of gal. With our recent home move and school district change, I'm desperate for some stability and roots for our kids. Right now that's obviously not happening without a church home and it gives me a little anxiety and sadness.

Finding a new church is hard. With my mustard seed of faith, I grumble at God and sulk, struggle to keep to the discipline of prayer and reading my bible daily and continue to make the same mistakes... again and again. Personally, I’d like to go somewhere I can own up to all of that, a place with great teaching, but also great music – a place that allows me the mystery of God yet behaves as the family of God; one that stretches me to be more but still accepts me as I am.

As we've been visiting local churches, there are things I'm learning:

• I notice silly things. At one church, I really liked the carpet. Not that I ever disliked the carpeting in our previous church, but there was something more comfortable and non-sanctuaryish about it. 
• Proverbs 3:5-6. I've been carrying around my list of criteria for a new church - size, youth ministry, worship style & focus, missions focus. So basically instead of treating God like the all powerful, all knowing creator of the universe, I'm treating him more like a realtor helping me to find a new house. A new realtor that I don’t fully trust. Sorry `bout that God.
• The kids opinions matter. One of Beebs first complaints one Sunday was that there was no breakfast at this church. Most kids, mine included, only have two speeds: normal and emergency. They either don’t have to go to the bathroom or “Get out of the way, I gotta go!" They are either not hungry or starving. So, Beebs' comment tells me that's his strong emergency sense - his priority - his comfort. Now, we won't be basing our new church on whether they serve community breakfast, but we have made it a habit to discuss each service as a family and note everyone's opinions. 
• We need to go at least twice. If you visit a church only once, you have an 92% chance of going on the Sunday they let the weird lady who went on a mission trip play a rain stick version of “God of Wonders.” Unless it's clear that very first time that the church is ungodly or unbiblical, one visit is no way to get an impression of a church.

No church is perfect…and if it is, it won’t be as soon as I step into it! My focus right now is trusting in His direction for where our family should be. Now, if I could just shut up and listen.