Firsts and lasts and now

Firsts are always bittersweet for parents, I think, because they also mean last days. When your child experiencing something for the first time, it often closes the door on something else. It hit me yesterday when I realized, the kids will never (well, barring some really unexpected school year, lol!) be a 7th grader, 6th grader, and 1st grader again. They are growing and changing so rapidly it's hard to wrap my mind around it. This is such a savory season of life for me (albiet sometimes exhausting and frustrating) and I can't really picture what my life looks like outside of where I am and have been for the past 14 years. Can I let you in on a secret? I don't like to think about the kids growing up and out and on. I don't want to get there. I don't know who I will be or what I will do...