Tanya Simpson, PHR

So, there it is! A 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper representing 7 years of work experience and months of studying and preparation! Today I became a certified Professional in Human Resources. Yippee!! The test was the mother of all tests I've ever taken - 225 questions over 4 hours. It has about a 60% pass rate and it was SO hard, and, just like that, it's over. It'd be even more spectacular if it came with a huge promotion or raise or something, but the accomplishment's enough for me for now.

Better yet, I can stop spending every spare moment buried in books or flashcards or practice exams! In fact, I'm leaving you now, because tonight, my DVR and I have a date that's LONG overdue!!

What a good weekend! Piper had a new friend over last night and it was a social success! It warms my heart to see her possibly developing a friendship with another little girl. She struggles with this whole creating relationships thing and she seemed to have tons of fun - so yay! Her new friend did tell me of another incident where Piper was made fun of at school last week. So sad that Piper doesn't always tell me of these instances, but I guess that's part of her growing up and growing away. :( The new friend did say she stepped to Piper's defense and that's awesome! I really pray that this relationship is just the start of a few good friendships for her. I think softball will also foster some good relationships for her as well - she just needs to gain some confidence in herself and not be so hard on herself when she messes up. It's such a frustrating character trait for a parent to watch, so my apologies go out to my folks!

On my mind for the coming week - work, study for my exam, meet with realtor about selling house, do daily devotions, send Ryder on his first major fieldtrip without Mommy (but with Daddy!!), freak out about my exam, try to find a tenant for our rental property, go to co-worker's retirement party, practice for special music Sunday at church, prep for small group, prep for teaching Sunday school, meeting for Zambia trip, take my exam and then decompress. It's just everyday livin'!

Injured bad...

This makes me laugh, every time.
And it just seemed to be good for a Friday night smile.

Hurl Helper?

So last night, well, technically this morning at 12:43 a.m., I was awakened by a nauseous child. Over the next 2 hours, we battled vomiting and stomach cramps. At 3:04 a.m., I lay in bed next to him, heating pad on his stomach, thinking a slightly proud, albeit crazy, sleep deprived thought - "I've really got a handle on this puke clean up thing!"

You see, the week of Thanksgiving, as Todd golfed and walked the beach in Florida, the stomach flu ran through out house. Now this was not in any way my first bout with vomit, but it was a doozy - taking the kids out like dominoes, every other day. Between my 10 years as a preschool teacher and 11 years as a mom (many of those early ones tending to a reflux baby who could clear a highchair tray with his spray of vomit), I've seen and cleaned my share of bodily fluids. But that week in November of 2009 was a turning point for me.

All 3 of the kids have now realized the importance of trying to get to a proper place to puke. This means, do everything in your power to hit a garbage can, sink or toilet - and this is a great achievement for any mom! But during this 6 day battle of the bile, I discovered what might have been the best puke disposal tool ever and it's right in your own home!!!

1. Grab a small plastic garbage can and line with plastic shopping bag (i.e. Walmart, Kroger, etc.). It is imperative you check the bag for holes!
2. Encourage child to puke into the lined can - it's even lightweight & portable.
3. When said child has hurled, pull out the bag, tie it off and dispose of it! If you're really lucky, it will be cold outside & the vomit will freeze, making it a snap to take to the outside trash the next morning.
4. Rinse mouth and repeat.

I know, I know - ingenious right?!? Now if I can just come up with a great name for my invention. How about hurl helper, vomit vacator, puke police....

Paxel and Prozac

So you might know that for the past 8 months we've been battling with a dog that seems to have developed an onset of doggy dementia or manic depression or bipolar disorder or something. Appropriately named Paxel, our previously mild mannered black lab/border collie mix who is 7 years old began having episodes of anxiety/destruction. He's always been crate trained for times when we're gone during the day, but suddenly decided he hated crates and broke the metal crate. And maybe broke is the wrong word to use, maybe bent all of the bars and broke off his tooth attempting to chew out is a more appropriate description.

Once successful, a second crate was on the menu and he demolished that one as well. We decided to just give him the run of a room in the basement, thinking that it was crate anxiety, but that led to eating the wooden door to his doggie room and breaking 2 glass panels, cutting his legs up nicely. So, maybe he had an aversion to being inside the house? But letting him run the yard led to eating/bending/mauling the chain link fence outside in the yard. He's even figured out how to get out of the padlocked gate - wanna know how to do that for your own future reference? - just throw yourself repeatedly at the post for the gate & eventually you'll bend it enough that you can squeeze through or scale over. He's run away so many times I've lost count, although my neighbor might have a better idea as he often catches him for me and helps us get him home (Shout out Keith - Thanks!)

Two weeks ago, I caught him scaling the side of the house by way of the trumpet vine trellis... which coincidentally didn't hold up well under his 80 lbs. He's broken through 2 windows trying to get in if he's outside & out if he's inside. He's eaten, and I mean EATEN, the wooden screen door. He's opened a paint can and paw painted through the basement and eaten spaghetti from the top shelf of the pantry. He wants in if he's out and out if he's in. It doesn't matter if we're home or not - he's an equal opportunity psycho. He's just not a happy dog & it's not fun to watch. :(

So, after many trips to the vet, lab work, tests, homeopathic remedies and counseling, we're no closer to a peaceful, happy existence for Pax. So, as a last resort, he is now taking a prescription anxiety/tranquilizer mix. We are 2 1/2 weeks in & aren't seeing any improvement. Doc said give it up to 4 weeks to take full effect, but if it doesn't work, we are at the end of our options... that's a hard thought to swallow. Ultimately I want him to be happy & live a full life, but not at the expense of my paycheck & sanity and the kids' safety!

By the way, is dementia contagious?!? My cat has now decided that litterboxes must be for decorative purposes as houseplants seem much more appealing...

And so it begins...

And so I thought I'd start blogging just because I enjoy the quiet, voyeuristic behavior that is reading other people's lives through their blogs. Indeed, I've found myself following blogs of people who know people I know (I mean, people I don't really know.) - is that weird? Realistically if I enjoy it, then so must others, right? I mean, just look at Julie & Julia - perfect example of people who don't "know" people, following a blog. I guess the biggest difference is, she was writing about something that people were interested in and well, me, I'm just writing my own little tales.

Whatever the reason for doing this, I've found there's never a dull moment around here and I find myself forgetting some of these awesome moments that range from heart wrenching to infuriating to hilarious. So, what better way to keep record than to put them down somewhere, and by somewhere, of course, I mean blogspot.