Pax

Crazy Dog left last night. He's left on his own before, several times. Most days, it's a chore to get him outside to do his thing and eat. But, every so unpredictable often, he'll bolt out the door, through the gate and be gone. When he first began leaving last year, he'd go for ten minutes or so. That began to stretch up to an hour, but not usually any longer. He hadn't left in a while until 2 weeks ago. He left at bedtime and was at the door when we woke up next morning. Today was different though - he wasn't at the door this morning. He left behind his collar, which while not unusual - he hates it and takes it off whenever he can manage - seems to add this air of finality to his life here.

I don't know if he's coming back and I have mixed emotions about it. I am relieved because his dementia exhausts me - cleaning up daily messes and damage, listening to horrific yowling/whining/crying episodes, giving him medication twice a day every day and generally trying to handle him. I am sad because I love him. I want him to be safe. I want him to be happy. I'm sorry we couldn't do that for him.